The Week Before Christmas and My Black Cloud Gave to Me

7 LOUSY SOAPS. The lye calculation was off and they are super smooshy, but they smell really good.  Bad part is I have to redo it all for Christmas time gifts, ASAP.  I don't want my recipients scorching their flesh off on my wares.  I assure you I have no time for this mishap.  This is not a welcome event but considering this is my second failed batch ever, I am faring better than my cooking record.  I will be fervently striving to reach my outlandishly exorbitant Christmas goals this next seven days.

6 songs where my dad sang out of key.  I go to rock n roll church and the musical program was really good today.  It was very spiritually moving. I love my daddy to the ends of the Earth but he definitely is tone deaf. When a trained opera singer is doing a solo, sometimes it is best to just listen.  XOXOXO, Daddy.  LOL.  Funny thing is I love it. It works.  Another kind of funny happening was a strange girl was signing a song while the rest sang it.  I swear I hallucinated that she was Napoleon Dynamite from his high school Happy Hands Club.  I couldn't stop and I know it is wrong.  Especially in church.  

5 Hooouuuuurrrsssss waiting for San-teeeeeeee.  We went to Bass Pro for the second time this week to make my children's Santa dreams come true.  The first time we were turned away because the passes were all gone.  GRRRR!!!!!!  It is quite a haul to get there from where I live and I drove two wound up hooligans in RUSH HOUR.  When we got there today the stupid, broke down, sad sally elf gave us a "Bass Pass' for 7:30 and this was shortly after 2:00.  We filled our five hours with a unplanned $40 dollar movie and bad food at Red Robin Express and this brings me to. . .

4 skiny, stupid fri-ees. Red Robin Express has made a cardinal sin by using nasty, skanky little skinny fries instead of their wonderful, succulent, plump steak fries.  I am not a potato connoisseur but the "real Robin fries" are something I actually look forward to once in a while.   Why would someone do something so evil?  I guarantee that 90% of people that go there are thrown into some degree of a rage fit.  Why mess with a good thing such as this?  WHY, I ask?  What the bloody hell is this world coming to?

3 anti-cathartic hours of TV.  The Survivor finale has left me cold.  I love my Survivor.  Two of my top five faves of all time came back this season and they were both scorned by the evil Sophie.  Ozzy and Coach so deserved to pummel that little turd-face.  Sophie Angela Brogdon is a princess of Sophies and this girl was the toad. I would like my 3 hours of my life back.  For that matter I would like all the hours of the season back.  In my heart Ozzy Lusth won and Coach Wade was a close runner up.  Screw you Sophie!!  Oh and Russell can piss off. I thought he was really funny in his seasons but he treated Little Hantz like complete crap.  DEVIL MAN! 

2 things that really worry me.  My best, most favorite person in the world did two very strange things at church today.  It scared me to pieces.  My Grammy asked me if a photo on the screen, that looked like a bunch of swirls, reminded me of Elisabeth, my cousins new daughter. She said that it was a baby in a womb.  It is very possible I am in severe left brain mode and my creativity gene is inactive today but I saw no resemblance to a baby at all.  I tried really hard.  Then she gasped and stated "I really hope that woman is ok."  I still have no idea what she meant. Everyone was singing and worshiping and their was no evidence of a mishap.  She just was hospitalized for a blod clot and I am terrified her health will fail.  I am not ready to lose my rock.  SO Scary.  Please pray for her. 

1 stupid Santa Wannabe.  We filled part of our five hours of Santa waiting with a Santa movie.  We saw Arthur Christmas.  Arthur was brilliant but his brother was a jackass named Steve.  I am horrible and biased but I don't have a fondness for Steves to begin with.  The first boy to do me wrong was a Steve and I barf a little bit just thinking of him. This one in the movie was also a tool and he had a Christmas Tree shaped beard. I wanted to punch him in the nuts.  Otherwise this movie is so sweet.  I really recommend it.  Do not waste money on 3D.  I hate 3D but it was the only option. Totally not worth the extra moolah.  Save it for ridiculously priced, grease bombed popcorn.  

May The Force be with me in the next days of Christmas so I keep my ever loved sani-teeeeee!!

Good Night and God Bless.