This is a story about poor orphaned Hot Pockets, gone awry, and complete and total raucousness .
Many upon a times people I work with have opened their freezers before work in the morning and selected a delectable Hot Pocket to make the journey with them to work. The Hot Pocket rides shot gun in their car, with hopes of being a delish mid day treat. The HP makes the journey to the end destination and is parked in the work freezer. This is where it learns it is not special and most likely not going to be a delectable treat. There it meets 45 abandoned HP's from other great intentions.
What happens? The good intentioned co-workers get seduced by evil temptresses, such as myelf, into eating far more delightful morsels. Poor, poor HP's. They sit week after week. Month after month. "Won't anyone just eat me? For crying out loud!!!!!" "Let us out, Gosh Damn it!!"
Thankfully somebody finally heard their pleas and deep sixed them. I hope they gave them their last rights before sending them to the pits. Actually I don't really give a flying poo, because now there is room for other reckless abandonment. Why have I tortured you with this story?
Because it led my coworker to ask me about alternative meanings to "hot pocketing." Me, being me, I googled it from my phone. Low and behold there are meanings on Urban Dictionary. Now this is my kind of website. Raunchy and completely un-PC. I read the first two definitions out loud and am rolling over them. The other girls are laughing with me in a hyena medley of debauchery. It was fabulous and all sorts of wrong. I start to read the third definition and find myself in a rare moment of complete and utter, stunned silence. I literally couldn't speak and almost couldn't even laugh. I will refrain from posting the definitions in the act of feigning decency and save your virgin eyes. If you can't stand the tension, click the link above. It is proof there is something that can actually stun me.
Later that night my sister and I found the definition for coonass as well. What a lovely and useful tool for my future in smart-assing. I forged a symbiotic relationship with Urban Dictionary that day. It will provide me with much craved un-PC needs and I will pimp it out to the world.
The End
Many upon a times people I work with have opened their freezers before work in the morning and selected a delectable Hot Pocket to make the journey with them to work. The Hot Pocket rides shot gun in their car, with hopes of being a delish mid day treat. The HP makes the journey to the end destination and is parked in the work freezer. This is where it learns it is not special and most likely not going to be a delectable treat. There it meets 45 abandoned HP's from other great intentions.
What happens? The good intentioned co-workers get seduced by evil temptresses, such as myelf, into eating far more delightful morsels. Poor, poor HP's. They sit week after week. Month after month. "Won't anyone just eat me? For crying out loud!!!!!" "Let us out, Gosh Damn it!!"
Thankfully somebody finally heard their pleas and deep sixed them. I hope they gave them their last rights before sending them to the pits. Actually I don't really give a flying poo, because now there is room for other reckless abandonment. Why have I tortured you with this story?
Because it led my coworker to ask me about alternative meanings to "hot pocketing." Me, being me, I googled it from my phone. Low and behold there are meanings on Urban Dictionary. Now this is my kind of website. Raunchy and completely un-PC. I read the first two definitions out loud and am rolling over them. The other girls are laughing with me in a hyena medley of debauchery. It was fabulous and all sorts of wrong. I start to read the third definition and find myself in a rare moment of complete and utter, stunned silence. I literally couldn't speak and almost couldn't even laugh. I will refrain from posting the definitions in the act of feigning decency and save your virgin eyes. If you can't stand the tension, click the link above. It is proof there is something that can actually stun me.
Later that night my sister and I found the definition for coonass as well. What a lovely and useful tool for my future in smart-assing. I forged a symbiotic relationship with Urban Dictionary that day. It will provide me with much craved un-PC needs and I will pimp it out to the world.
The End
wait, the fourth one didn't stun you either? wow!
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