Today I am the super sleuth in charge of solving a great mystery and crime. What ever happened to Coraline Jones? For those of you who do not know, Coraline Jones is a cartoon child who finds herself in another reality. One where all of her dreams are true, or are they? She almost finds an ill fate in the story as the "other mother" attempts to steal her soul by prying her with her every desire. Mango milkshake, anyone? Dark stuff for a kids show, right?
In this story, My Coraline suffered a worser fate. She was dismembered and left for vacuum fodder. What? You ask, shocked. It is true? Once she looked like this, See above. This was when my hope for her was to be a lovely companion to my dearest daughter. I adore the movie and wanted nothing more than for this doll to be a happy part of our home.
For some strange reason, unknown to me, doll makers these days are just sadistic asses. They make it so easy for utter destruction and cruelty that todays youth no longer need to be creative in the demise of their dolls, oh no. They can be ripped limb from limb and have degloving injuries to their face in approximately ten seconds. I fear that is the fate of My Coraline. SEE EXHIBIT ONE.
I found pieces of dear Coraline while vacuuming. Notice no feet. Their fate is unknown at this point in time. I believe Coraline would have fated better had she stayed with The Other Mother. She even may have fated better by staying with her real mother who was too busy to feed her a decent meal. Ketchup, mustard, salsa wrap anyone?
I was able to restore her to some degree, however, I fear she is a double amputee now. Poor, poor Coraline. What ever happened to the days when you really had to work at destroying dolls? My brother and I had to put some creative ingenuity into our destruction. My Barbies were sacrificed in the name of public defense training when G.I. Joe and his crew ran them down in mass mudslide disasters in the back yard. I am not going to lie, I HATE MOST DOLLS, but this one I was rather fond of. I am going to hide my Lala Loopsey doll right now. Notice the button eyes? LOL.
In this story, My Coraline suffered a worser fate. She was dismembered and left for vacuum fodder. What? You ask, shocked. It is true? Once she looked like this, See above. This was when my hope for her was to be a lovely companion to my dearest daughter. I adore the movie and wanted nothing more than for this doll to be a happy part of our home.
For some strange reason, unknown to me, doll makers these days are just sadistic asses. They make it so easy for utter destruction and cruelty that todays youth no longer need to be creative in the demise of their dolls, oh no. They can be ripped limb from limb and have degloving injuries to their face in approximately ten seconds. I fear that is the fate of My Coraline. SEE EXHIBIT ONE.
I found pieces of dear Coraline while vacuuming. Notice no feet. Their fate is unknown at this point in time. I believe Coraline would have fated better had she stayed with The Other Mother. She even may have fated better by staying with her real mother who was too busy to feed her a decent meal. Ketchup, mustard, salsa wrap anyone?
I was able to restore her to some degree, however, I fear she is a double amputee now. Poor, poor Coraline. What ever happened to the days when you really had to work at destroying dolls? My brother and I had to put some creative ingenuity into our destruction. My Barbies were sacrificed in the name of public defense training when G.I. Joe and his crew ran them down in mass mudslide disasters in the back yard. I am not going to lie, I HATE MOST DOLLS, but this one I was rather fond of. I am going to hide my Lala Loopsey doll right now. Notice the button eyes? LOL.
Hahaha...you are so funny! Bailey is obsessed with those lala loopsey dolls now. She keeps begging for one;)
ReplyDeleteI want a Blossom Flower Pot Doll!! She will be safe with me! Muaahhahaha!!!!
ReplyDeleteExcept for every other Monday and if Bessie gets hungry. LOL.
ReplyDelete