If you are looking for that "shiny happy people" "rainbows shooting from your ass" post, this ain't your day. turn around and walk the other way. I am not channeling my inner Yoda today. I am leaning toward the dark side. Who's my daddy? I am thinking it may be Vader. Oh no, never mind, that is the big ball of evil I work with. We will get to that. Hold your pants on.
2.) Secondly, my HOA that is not my HOA, is sitting on $2500+ that they garnished from me after we no longer lived there. Our account is settled since we closed and they are not returning my calls. I have politely put up with their constant nagging and harassing while we were doing the short sale. I put up with their exorbitant legal fees that they even charged on top of the money they didn't apply and hoarded for 6 months. Gloves are off and this Sh!t is going down!
3.) I have been put in charge of "the family loaner computer." A.K.A. my dad kissing up to my mom for some wrong he perceived he did to her 22 years ago. He bought it to loan to her so she will stop making excuses on not getting a job. Lucky me, I get to monitor it and set it up. YAY! I think she should have gotten the job first, but what do I know?
4.) I have a daggone tan despite my 50 SPF. All I want is to be able to go outside and not get crispy fried. I had a cadaver project in pre med, in which the dude died of terminal melanoma. He had like 3000 tumors all over his body. It was totally disgusting, frightening and damaged me for life. This is my mental problem to bear, but every time I see a leather skin, chronic tanner I get flashbacks of tumor man. I get all queasy and mental, and want to pass out. Does anyone make SPF 2300? The only time I have ever allowed myself to tan on purpose was a week before my wedding. That was only so I was not the same color as the ridiculous dress I bought. For real!
5.) I have enough drama to run Days of Our Lives for a month at work. This is where Vader comes in. I have "crossed" the giant ball of evil I work with and she always gets those who cross her. I swear today while I was sitting alone waiting to hear about someone eating a suppository, Darth Evil came in and tried to suck my breath away like the Dementors on Harry Potter. It was as if all of the fun was sucked out of the world. Anyone who knows me, knows I try to get along with everyone and I just want the world to be a fun, "shiny happy people" place. Why can't we all get along? Why, because there is a Darth Evil around every corner.
6.) One of my serious pet peeves is when people do not pull over for ambulances. On the way home from work, I was the only one who did. I wanted to go "Tawanda" on the car in front of me and beside me. Somebody's life is at stake people! Get over your damn selves.
7.) 7-11 is on my list and I want an apology. Why is it, in the world of 6 slurpee machines, is there no Crystal Light Slurpees?!?!?! I want a slurpee and I do not want to super size my ass with that order.
8.) My daughter had a holy-hell-terror meltdown because she did not want to go home. She wanted Circus Peanut candy. She wanted me to drive to the South Pole where she believes they are made. I told her I had no idea on Earth where I can get Circus Peanuts, and with her attitude she may never see one again. She then arched her back in the car seat and nearly snapped the harness right open.
9.) I had to spend $54.94 to fill my not even empty gas tank. BOO! Then I spilled gas on my foot. That probably cost a buck, so I can smell flammable all day. Then I found a rat nest of trash in my car from my family. The contents included a half eaten hot dog, a spilled Sprite from 7-11 that didn't have Crystal Light Slurpees, an empty muffin wrapper, and assorted toddler meal crap. I unloaded and filled up Costco's trash when I notice the EVIL. Yellow pollen encrusted car hood. It is probably psychosomatic since I have a massive attitude problem today, but I can't breath now.
10.) My daughter wants to be Lady Gaga, and she is obsessed with this stupid girl on youtube who has tutorials on how to do makeovers. She was watching a video on my iPhone about how to look like the Perfect Plastic Barbie Doll. I liked Barbies so much I chopped all their hair off and made them G.I. JOE torture subjects with the help of my brother. That being said, I think I will follow this tutorial for my 20 year reunion look.
The only thing that has made me "not a bitter grinch" is that I got to my mail box and it smelled like bubblegum. I knew my Farm Hussy was here. Also my daughter frantically begged me to put in her very special password on Starfall, "Hurry, hurry hurry, before I pass out, MOM!" (there is no password on her Starfall.) LMBO for a few minutes, sniffed my Huss Wear and now I am feeling Grinchy again. Bah Humbug!
My Theme Song Today
1.) I had 24 hours of PTO taken out on my last paycheck that was supposed to be short term disability. I want what I deserve. People that have to spend time off from work to get their head half chopped off from a "probable tumor" need vacation too. I have tried to call the case worker and now suddenly she is mute. Watch out, here I come. . .2.) Secondly, my HOA that is not my HOA, is sitting on $2500+ that they garnished from me after we no longer lived there. Our account is settled since we closed and they are not returning my calls. I have politely put up with their constant nagging and harassing while we were doing the short sale. I put up with their exorbitant legal fees that they even charged on top of the money they didn't apply and hoarded for 6 months. Gloves are off and this Sh!t is going down!
3.) I have been put in charge of "the family loaner computer." A.K.A. my dad kissing up to my mom for some wrong he perceived he did to her 22 years ago. He bought it to loan to her so she will stop making excuses on not getting a job. Lucky me, I get to monitor it and set it up. YAY! I think she should have gotten the job first, but what do I know?
4.) I have a daggone tan despite my 50 SPF. All I want is to be able to go outside and not get crispy fried. I had a cadaver project in pre med, in which the dude died of terminal melanoma. He had like 3000 tumors all over his body. It was totally disgusting, frightening and damaged me for life. This is my mental problem to bear, but every time I see a leather skin, chronic tanner I get flashbacks of tumor man. I get all queasy and mental, and want to pass out. Does anyone make SPF 2300? The only time I have ever allowed myself to tan on purpose was a week before my wedding. That was only so I was not the same color as the ridiculous dress I bought. For real!
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| Crappy Resolution Pic of the Tan! |
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| My Work Colleague |
7.) 7-11 is on my list and I want an apology. Why is it, in the world of 6 slurpee machines, is there no Crystal Light Slurpees?!?!?! I want a slurpee and I do not want to super size my ass with that order.
8.) My daughter had a holy-hell-terror meltdown because she did not want to go home. She wanted Circus Peanut candy. She wanted me to drive to the South Pole where she believes they are made. I told her I had no idea on Earth where I can get Circus Peanuts, and with her attitude she may never see one again. She then arched her back in the car seat and nearly snapped the harness right open.
9.) I had to spend $54.94 to fill my not even empty gas tank. BOO! Then I spilled gas on my foot. That probably cost a buck, so I can smell flammable all day. Then I found a rat nest of trash in my car from my family. The contents included a half eaten hot dog, a spilled Sprite from 7-11 that didn't have Crystal Light Slurpees, an empty muffin wrapper, and assorted toddler meal crap. I unloaded and filled up Costco's trash when I notice the EVIL. Yellow pollen encrusted car hood. It is probably psychosomatic since I have a massive attitude problem today, but I can't breath now.
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| Why My Lungs Feel Like a Pollen Filter! |
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| Big Oil Can Bite Me! |
The only thing that has made me "not a bitter grinch" is that I got to my mail box and it smelled like bubblegum. I knew my Farm Hussy was here. Also my daughter frantically begged me to put in her very special password on Starfall, "Hurry, hurry hurry, before I pass out, MOM!" (there is no password on her Starfall.) LMBO for a few minutes, sniffed my Huss Wear and now I am feeling Grinchy again. Bah Humbug!
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