We just made five, well, actually four tie dyes. Flynn decided he wanted his all blue. LOL. I live to please, so we have four tie dyes and a blue shirt. I got this tie dye kit for $5 at Hobby Lobby on clearance today while I was shopping for Christmas stuff on clearance. HIP HIP HOORAY, a means to gigantic, ridiculously fun mess. My favorite recipe.
It was marked down because it was missing the green dye. Um hello, Hobby Lobby, yellow and blue make green, dudes.
Here are the pics of our messy fun. I will try to remember to add more when we sport our wares.
All of the wares hanging loose to dry. Notice the plain blue "tie dye". LMAO
My Pretty
Sophie's Pretty. Hers is a light pink shirt with red and purple.
I might give this and the blue and purple one to the twins since Flynn likes monochromatic tie dyes.
This is the above one before the ties are off.
The front one is my pretty.
I liked tie dying so much I dyed my self.
Yay! Tie Dye is fun
Most likely I have die on my face and hair because that is how I roll. I got side tracked by writing a pattern for an Amigurumi octopus for a lady on Pinterest. That is also how I roll. I can post it if anyone is interested. I don't know what gets in to me but I guess I am a little high maintenance or just high-per. :)
I did nothing but paint ornaments, and clean out my closet just enough to find a paintbrush to paint the ornaments today. The closet adventure is more than one should safely take on but I am too cheap to go buy another brush, when there are likely 100, or so, in THE CLOSET. I am going to post these ornaments and if anyone wants a play by play on their construction, I suppose I could put one together. The basics~~~
Final Product minus Modge Podge and ribbon.
What I used:
*2 pounds of Crayola air dry clay
*2 oz. bottles of black, white, red, flesh color (or clesh according to Sophie), and a metallic brown.
*fairy sprinkles
*an exacto knife
*one girl hand (right) and one boy hand (left)
*Black Sharpie and a Red Sharpie (I capitalize the Sharpies to show reverence. I am in love with them.)
*the elusive paint brush (and I used an eyeliner brush from an old eyeliner)
*A fondant roller 1/4 inch
*shiny Modge Podge (I need to brave the closet to find a wash brush. I am scared.)
* parchment paper
*straw to poke the holes
*Christmas ribbons and red sparkly cord. Not on them yet.
Flynnie The Red Nose Reindeers
(Darrell thinks the noses look happy to see me.)
Sophie Clauses
I rolled these suckers out 3 days ago. Forced the poor children to make 16 acceptable handprints each. Flynn had to make a few extras. I cut them out around the prints with the exacto. It took 3 days to dry enough to paint them. Mostly because I didn't feel like painting them until today but it is probably good I waited.
Here is a view of the monstrosity of this project. This is just the end product. We also suffered a few mishaps, as is the usual in this house. Sophie tried to paint her furniture before we got started. Flynn drew a mural on his bedroom wall while I was ignoring him and painting. I would share a pic but I made him Magic~ally Erase it all already. Sophie ended up sent to her room and Flynn followed to make his artistic statement.
I just love the way they turned out. I stole the Santa idea from a pin, on Pinterest, and I made up the reindeer one because the ones I Googled look ugly and challenged. I am pretty sure they never won ANY reindeer games. Darrell thinks these reindeer look happy to see me, but I don't really care. They should be happy to see me since I gave them the very eyes on their smug little faces.
The two white ones are the rejects. Flynn was far less then cooperative with my mission. He did not appreciate my vision. Sophie was far more cooperative and interested in this project. She participated quite a bit, including covering most of my dining room, herself, me and her dad with fairy dust.
Sophie, age 4
Sophie did her very own and there is no surprise that hers is mostly pink and sparkles. I am so honored for hers to grace my tree. She is so awesome. She also told me she doesn't like her skin color because it isn't "clesh" enough. LMFBO!!!
Tomorrow I seal them and add the ribbons. I will put final pics on that are taken in far better lighting. 9 P.M. on a Monday just doesn't offer great photography lighting.
~What is your favorite thing about being 4? Um, I would like to be 5 and then 4 when I turn 5. When You are four you update stuff and watch shows, and stuff. . .
~What is something you can do now that you couldn’t do when you were 3? Um, I couldn't make a plant with a bean and a paper towel, in a cup.
~What’s the hardest part about being 4? When you act up.
~What do 4 year olds like to eat? Strawberries and peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
~ How did you grow so big? I had birthdays.
~ What do 4 year olds play with? They like to make stuff that their dad and moms cut out. So they can play with it.
~What do 4 year olds not play with? They don't play with stuff who are not toys. . .sometimes. Old McFarmer had a cow. e-i-e-i-o
~What will you be when you grow up? A mom and stuff.
~ What is your favorite game? I like to play hide and seek.
~ When is a person a grown-up? Um, I don't know.
~ What is your favorite art activity? I like to paint.
~What is your favorite animal? A hippo.
~If you could have any pet what would it be? I want two kitties and one dog.
~What do 4 year olds think about? They think about reading a story. . .and stuff. . . and painting
~What is your favorite thing to wear? Um, like, these clothes I am wearing right now. (points to her dress) It s comfty and cozy kind of like pajamas. It is werm (warm.)
~Is there anything else we should know about 4 year olds? No.
~Do you like money? Yeah.
~What do you like about money? um, I like to go shopping and I like to do stuff that are memerbal (memorable, I think.)
~How much money do you have? 20 dollars.
~How much money is in the world? Um, 100's.
~What is a bank? I don't know.
~How do you get money? Hmm? I don't know.
~What would you do if you had $100? You would put it in your piggy bank.
~How much money would you like to have? One hundred and thousand.
~What is something that Daddy always says to you? He flips me up in the air.
~What makes Daddy happy? when I clean my room and then we go to the pool.
~What does not make Daddy happy? When I don't clean my room.
~What does Daddy do to make you laugh? When he flips me up in the air and tickles me.
~How old is Daddy? Like, 20 hundred.
~How tall is Daddy? Like, big as an animal. Like a giraffe.
~What is Daddy’s favorite thing to watch on TV? The cemetery channel.
~What does Daddy do when you are not around? Um, he flips my toys and stuff.
~What is Daddy good at? Art with me when I don't know how to do art sometimes.
~What is Daddy not good at? he is not good at snow-globing.
~What does Daddy do at work? Um, he gets money. He just works. . .
~What is Daddy’s favorite food? Snow globes. (me: What does he seriously like?) Um, like strawberries.
~What makes you proud of Daddy? At juggling, so I can practice.
~If your Daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be? I don't want to talk about this anymore.
WE TOOK A BREAK. . .
~What do you and your daddy like to do together? We like to ride on roller coasters.
~How are you and Daddy alike? We both like to go swimming and we like each other.
~How are you and Daddy different? We change clothes every day and we have different hair.
~How do you know Daddy loves you? I don't know.
~What does Daddy like about Mommy? Nothing. (haha, awesome!)
~Where is Daddy’s favorite place to go? To the place where we went to the ice cream place.
~ What is your favorite movie? Pocoyo Two.
~What is your favorite story? Cat in the Hat.
~What your favorite TV show? Dora.
~ What do you want to be when you grow up? A nurse.
~What is your favorite color? Purple and Pink.
~Who is your best friend? Rowyn and Bailey.
~Where do you like to play? At Rowyn's house.
~What do you like to do with mommy? I like to go on roller coasters.
~What is your favorite thing to learn about? Butterflies.
~What bed time book does Daddy read you the most? Glasses for D.W. It's the "Body Book," too.
~ What do you plan on doing when you become five? Like Painting.
~Anything else you want to tell me? *sigh* I am full of soup.
My son has it rough, he has it so bad, I don't know how he survives life, oh no, no how?!!
First he lays his own pipe in his pants, in the church. When they go to remove the offending stinker they find that the turd has gone rogue (in church). Also, I come to find out grandma did not put any undies on him. She is quite the gambler letting a barely potty trained, three year old go commando. I do not feel bad for her but I do not wish to ever show my face in church ever again.
I come to pick up the kids from grammies, after work and Baby Dood is wearing a poopy DIAPER!! I swear it. I have to take two steps back with his toileting every time he stays with grand parents. OY VEY! I changed him up and planned to enjoy a pleasant drive home. The drive home was from a horror scene! Foul stenches were surrounding my olfactory sense and bad DOA car crashes were commencing on Wadsworth. I got home after much traffic congestion to find a plastic bag harboring the skid stained shorts. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?
If you are going to be crazy enough to let children go commando, keep the crap stains to yourself. GAWD!! I am totally buggin right now. I am never eating again. I already had a bad stomach ache from my day at the salt mines.
Now I asked him to get ready to go see Cars 2. He just came in to tell me he is ready in what can only be described as his best shirtcocker, drag queen garb. He has on pink/hot green crocs with flowers and a sesame street t-shirt. COMMANDO!! Shirtcocking! I am never letting him go to Burning Man! He is butt hurt that I don't approve. I am going to stick my head in the sand. Ostriches may have the right idea.
I had a big, important interview today. As I was getting ready the inevitable distractions and obstacles began. I started running a bath and got in. The door flies open and nakey-man Flynn comes running in and does a tub bomb right into my bath. Normally this is just an annoyance but today he had a raunchy, poopy butt. I had to jump up and undo the stopper and turn the relaxing bath into a poop scouring shower. Not exactly how I envisioned my relaxation, "little engine that could" meditation time.
After the bath I was doing make up and finding clothes when I hear Flynn screaming "LOOK, SOPHIE LOOK AT MY HEE HEE!! IT IS GETTING BIGGER!!!" Hee Hee is his man parts. I come out and he is tugging away at Hee Hee to make it bigger and just so proud of himself. He was so proud that he was grinning from ear to ear with excitement. Maybe I am naive, maybe in denial, but I thought I had about 7-10 years before I had to deal with THIS. I don't want to damage my children by making them think these kinds of "discoveries" are taboo, so I was formulating a response, when. . .
Well it got way more fun before it got better because the need to pee struck and when this happens it is an extreme emergency with him. He gets performance anxiety. I usually let him run around in his birthday suit since we are potty training. Otherwise he just soils whatever he is wearing before we reach the final destination. So, he runs in and hops up on the potty, in his sit down style. We haven't graduated to stand up pottying yet, since he isn't tall enough to pop it over the edge. He starts freaking out because his Hee Hee wouldn't go down so he could pee. "MY HEE HEE IS STUCK!!!" Then Sophie joined in the hysteria. "MOMMY!!! FLYNN'S WEINER IS STUCK!!" They were both sobbing and hyperventilating. We get the situation under control and then. . .
Five minutes later Flynn decided to add some fuel to the fire and flushed one of Sophie's necklaces down the toilet. She popped right back into hysterical meltdown role and he decided to try and fix the situation by plunging the toilet and flinging potty water all over the place. My bathroom was a flood zone of germy, nasty potty water. I almost went into OCD mode but need to get to interview mode prevailed.
I sure as hell hope my neighbor was asleep, at work, or struck by hysterical deafness at this point. I was laughing so hard I was sobbing and both of the kids were off the chain freaked out. After all of the tricks and treats, I had to bust ass to get ready for the interview and still allow enough time to get the kids to my grandma's. Then I had the usual obstacles of unexpected street work and driving behind old men going 15, and not being able to find the right entrance to the ER. I made it with one minute to spare.
I still don't quite know what to do with the Hee Hee incident but I think it broke the tiny bit of terror I felt about interviewing for a job I may not quite be qualified for. Who can be stressed about that kind of stuff after a show like mine? And there we have it. . .The case of the Hee Hee Hysteria.
After a super long day of listening to "Darth Vader" breathing the death rattle on the other side of the work cubicle I embarked on a road to chaos in it's purest form. Children (and grown ups that are kind of like children) on Father's Day.
1.) The grande decision. Where to go, what to do? In my family this is always a ridiculous spectacle. Never is it an easy choice or event. "What should we do?" "Whatever works for everybody." "DO you think we should go?" "I wonder if we should call ahead?" (The answer to this, from a former bartender, is always HELL YES.) "Is (insert anything) going to work for everybody?" (The answer to this is always HELL NO!!) "What is the phone number?" "Does anyone know?" "Where is the phone book?" Twenty minutes later they have the number from the phone book when I already had it on my iphone after 21 seconds. Grammy- "Well why did I spend all that time finding the right phone book?" Me- "dunno."
2.) Waiting for the table entertainment. Lincoln blowing kisses to everyone alternated with trampling the other kids to be with his mommy. Ian dodging and dashing with the wait staff. Sophie screeching and squealing and screaming that she has to "POOOOOOPPPPP!!!" Bailey and Flynn squeezing the beejesus out of each other and making all octaves of ridiculous sounds. At one point Flynn squeezed the "men love" out of Bailey, whatever that may be. All of the children took turns smashing my metatarsals into dust.
3.) The stalking for a table After about 20 minutes of pre-dinner entertainment the older adults decided that they must sit right now and they disappear. We get up to find them and they are at two tables on either side of a table of three who were enjoying some pizza delight. Suddenly those folks became the meat in a Herman Family Impatience Sandwich. I am sure they felt awesome knowing they were keeping the poor, poor chilr'ns from eating. They left after about five minutes of being turkey and cheese.
4.) The pre-ordering entertainment. All 5 kids freaking out and starving to death. Gold fish were flying everywhere and then being masticated with utter delight. It was not enough. Lincoln got an emory board as an appetizer, and someone ate the styrofoam bowl the fish came in. Sobs and wails, laughter and snorts of starving beasts.
Proof that a mom would do just about anything to hush a kid's howling.
Nom Nom NOM! Chomp Chomp a Chuey CHOMP!
5.) The big K/O! This spectacle was performed by yours truly. We had to push 3 tables together to make one big enough for the clan. As we were getting up to get salad I rang my bell so to speak when I slammed my head into the little flying saucer lamp hanging where one table used to be. CRACK!! Chirp-chirp-birdies-flying-around-my-gourd!! (To make this more awesome, I did it again. The third time this old dog learned a new trick and ducked.)
6.) The bad joke. A cherry pepper was strategically placed in front of the first child. It took a bite. It gagged and it drank it's whole drink in one sip as it chucked the pepper in the middle of the table. The pepper was placed by the next kid. It took a bite and gagged and spit it's bite on the table as it chucked the pepper in the middle of the table. The same pepper was placed in front of the next kid. It took a bite and gagged as it chucked it in front of the person who put the pepper in front of it. The big mean jerky jokeass placed the pepper in front of the baby as a joke and the baby grabbed it before big meany could move it. Baby got pepper juice in it's eye. Jokeass felt bad.
Return of the bad pepper.
7.) Mid dinner entertainment. The boys snarfed down 3 pieces of pizza each. They are one year old twins. I think they ate more than me. They sang and danced a pizza song for us to express their deep respect for PIZZA.
8.) Inappropriate snacking. Flynn decided he wanted me to chew on his ear. I pretended to and then his dad pretended to. I always tell him give momma a bite of monkey meat. I chew his arm and pretend it is rotten and spit it out. I chewed too hard and he told his dad on me. Meanwhile April is telling me about how Bailey got all dressed up for a boy. I was totally into the story and Flynn says give me your arm momma. I gave him my arm. Next thing I know Darrell bit my arm really hard. When the kids bite each other we bite them back. He was getting me back for biting Flynn. WTC!?!?! Everyone got a good laugh.
9.) Dessert. Free hot fudge calzones for dads. That means we got three. Which means the kids got three. If you have ever seen these you know that five kids do not need three of them. Prior to the arrival of dessert Lincoln had checked out. Grandpa won him over with chocolate. The next ten minutes consisted of five kids ether shoveling hot fudge calzones into their own pie holes or of ill intending grandparents assisting pie hole stuffing. Result: FIVE kids crusty with ice cream ooze and choco-goo. One of the babies had a fist of chocolate mint and a fist of calzone as he was getting stuffed by spoon feeding. The offending grandma had a look of evil, knowing that the parents would be forced to take the sugar saturated baby off her hands in a minute or two.
10.) Post dessert= the big kids running in circles like mad rabid animals howling and singing. The babies looking like pot bellied Buddhas. Sophie singing a "bird song" that sounded like she was spewing random alphabet soup lyrics. Total f*cking madness.
So, I am a bit on the strange and unusual side. Don't know why. I used to think it was because I was ignored too much as a child, or that I was dropped on my head a few times. Maybe my mom drank too much Diet Coke when she was cooking me? I am completely innocent of all of these things and my kids are LOCO! Here are some fun surprises I have found in the last couple of days.
1.) Hot pink kissy marks on my wall by my kitchen. I am really hoping they are from Sophie and not from Flynn. I know this is genetic because I remember doing this too. Granted, I was a teenager and warped by the definition of the word. My mom sold Mary Kay for a while and had a case of all colors of "art supplies." Even with that kind of invitation my brother and I were pretty good and did not indulge much. I did, however, try on lipstick and make out with the wall to mark my place.
2.) I found every ball in the house in the dishwasher tossed way in the back. I hope that was done today. My husband actually did the dishes last night so I am hoping he didn't think we had dirty balls.
DIRTY BALLZ!!
3.) On the second to top bookshelf there was an array of brown, crusty, stales bread droppings. I know I didn't put them there. I am perplexed as to how the children reached that level. D is a bit of a hot mess in the cleaning-after-himself department but I don't think he would even do this. Do my kids sprout wings and fly when I am out of the room like the toys in Toy Story?
4.) Every few days or so, I find a single egg cracked in the sink. I am pretty sure it is Flynn. Sophie is far to destructive to be so tidy. She cracks her eggs in her play kitchen or in a carpet omelette.
5.) There are little square drawings all over the house. They look like faces. I think they are to low for Sophie works but I have never seen Flynn draw like this.
7.) While I was searching for a card in my purse today I found a Spider Man head top for a toothbrush, broken swim goggles, a piece of a chicken nugget, a rock, the open lipstick from the kissy wall, a baby Tabasco (OK I put that there,) a princess crown and a fruit snack wrapper. I clean my purse out every Saturday at work. Aside from the baby Tabasco that I got when we went out for our anniversary, the rest was not there on Saturday.
8.) A frozen concoction with a stick in it in the freezer. I think it is supposed to be a popsicle. It doesn't look edible or good. I shudder to think what it could be. I used to mix everything in the house and freeze it. It was my "Clean Everything" potion.
9.) My tub lathered up in Farm Hussy Root-beer Float scrub. The whole jar. I guess fixtures must be in dire need of exfoliation. I am as a well since I have the post sunburn peel appeal. I guess I better go find a lava rock. My kids can't seem to keep their paws off my biz.
10.) A collection of pinecones and withered carrots behind the living room chair. Oh My!
There is never a dull moment in this house and today I was really wishing there were. I have a raging headache. I think it is from the sun but it is probably from stress. It seems the days I need it the least, I find the most fun. Truthfully, I am guilty of the same crimes. I have a long memory and I did some really bad stuff.
For my mom. I confess I put the nickel in the bleach that caused toxic gas to explode the bottle all over the clothes. Wow! I feel lighter.
If you are looking for that "shiny happy people" "rainbows shooting from your ass" post, this ain't your day. turn around and walk the other way. I am not channeling my inner Yoda today. I am leaning toward the dark side. Who's my daddy? I am thinking it may be Vader. Oh no, never mind, that is the big ball of evil I work with. We will get to that. Hold your pants on.
My Theme Song Today
1.) I had 24 hours of PTO taken out on my last paycheck that was supposed to be short term disability. I want what I deserve. People that have to spend time off from work to get their head half chopped off from a "probable tumor" need vacation too. I have tried to call the case worker and now suddenly she is mute. Watch out, here I come. . .
2.) Secondly, my HOA that is not my HOA, is sitting on $2500+ that they garnished from me after we no longer lived there. Our account is settled since we closed and they are not returning my calls. I have politely put up with their constant nagging and harassing while we were doing the short sale. I put up with their exorbitant legal fees that they even charged on top of the money they didn't apply and hoarded for 6 months. Gloves are off and this Sh!t is going down!
3.) I have been put in charge of "the family loaner computer." A.K.A. my dad kissing up to my mom for some wrong he perceived he did to her 22 years ago. He bought it to loan to her so she will stop making excuses on not getting a job. Lucky me, I get to monitor it and set it up. YAY! I think she should have gotten the job first, but what do I know?
4.) I have a daggone tan despite my 50 SPF. All I want is to be able to go outside and not get crispy fried. I had a cadaver project in pre med, in which the dude died of terminal melanoma. He had like 3000 tumors all over his body. It was totally disgusting, frightening and damaged me for life. This is my mental problem to bear, but every time I see a leather skin, chronic tanner I get flashbacks of tumor man. I get all queasy and mental, and want to pass out. Does anyone make SPF 2300? The only time I have ever allowed myself to tan on purpose was a week before my wedding. That was only so I was not the same color as the ridiculous dress I bought. For real!
Crappy Resolution Pic of the Tan!
5.) I have enough drama to run Days of Our Lives for a month at work. This is where Vader comes in. I have "crossed" the giant ball of evil I work with and she always gets those who cross her. I swear today while I was sitting alone waiting to hear about someone eating a suppository, Darth Evil came in and tried to suck my breath away like the Dementors on Harry Potter. It was as if all of the fun was sucked out of the world. Anyone who knows me, knows I try to get along with everyone and I just want the world to be a fun, "shiny happy people" place. Why can't we all get along? Why, because there is a Darth Evil around every corner.
My Work Colleague
6.) One of my serious pet peeves is when people do not pull over for ambulances. On the way home from work, I was the only one who did. I wanted to go "Tawanda" on the car in front of me and beside me. Somebody's life is at stake people! Get over your damn selves.
7.) 7-11 is on my list and I want an apology. Why is it, in the world of 6 slurpee machines, is there no Crystal Light Slurpees?!?!?! I want a slurpee and I do not want to super size my ass with that order.
8.) My daughter had a holy-hell-terror meltdown because she did not want to go home. She wanted Circus Peanut candy. She wanted me to drive to the South Pole where she believes they are made. I told her I had no idea on Earth where I can get Circus Peanuts, and with her attitude she may never see one again. She then arched her back in the car seat and nearly snapped the harness right open.
9.) I had to spend $54.94 to fill my not even empty gas tank. BOO! Then I spilled gas on my foot. That probably cost a buck, so I can smell flammable all day. Then I found a rat nest of trash in my car from my family. The contents included a half eaten hot dog, a spilled Sprite from 7-11 that didn't have Crystal Light Slurpees, an empty muffin wrapper, and assorted toddler meal crap. I unloaded and filled up Costco's trash when I notice the EVIL. Yellow pollen encrusted car hood. It is probably psychosomatic since I have a massive attitude problem today, but I can't breath now.
Why My Lungs Feel Like a Pollen Filter!
Big Oil Can Bite Me!
10.) My daughter wants to be Lady Gaga, and she is obsessed with this stupid girl on youtube who has tutorials on how to do makeovers. She was watching a video on my iPhone about how to look like the Perfect Plastic Barbie Doll. I liked Barbies so much I chopped all their hair off and made them G.I. JOE torture subjects with the help of my brother. That being said, I think I will follow this tutorial for my 20 year reunion look.
The only thing that has made me "not a bitter grinch" is that I got to my mail box and it smelled like bubblegum. I knew my Farm Hussy was here. Also my daughter frantically begged me to put in her very special password on Starfall, "Hurry, hurry hurry, before I pass out, MOM!" (there is no password on her Starfall.) LMBO for a few minutes, sniffed my Huss Wear and now I am feeling Grinchy again. Bah Humbug!
My wonderful four year old has plans coming out of her head today. Her plan is for me to grow, grow, grow down until I am one and grow my hair like Repunzel. I will brush and brush and brush my hair til it is really really long and then I can sing all of the songs. Heehee.
My New Plan
The next plan is that she has been dreaming about how rainbows are made and wish flowers. She tells me this as she purses her lips to the side and then giggles vivaciously. Her plan is next time there is a rainbow I can drive her there.
My response is "I will not be able to drive you if I shrink down until I am one. One year olds don't get to have drivers licenses." She was a little perplexed for a minute about these plans.
The next plan coming out of her head is that is instead, on next Easter, I get to be Regawful, which is what she calls Mother Gothel, in Tangled. Her daddy will be the sad king, Flynn will be Flynn Rider and she will be Rapunzel. I asked her why I had to be Regawful instead of daddy's sad queen and she decided I better be the sad queen.
"Well, who will be Regawful then?" I ask.
"Um, um, um, I "stink" it will be Rowyn." She says cheerfully, as she solves the world's problems. You see, she stinks instead of thinks right now. It is quite precious and I can't quite bring myself to ruin this little piece of cuteness. I know I am Reg-"awful" but pretty soon she will be all grown up and she hopefully won't "stink" anymore.
I love that plans come out of her head. I am thankful to be a mom to such a cool kid.
We are making lockets for the mother peoples. Even though I just developed a skin infection around the incision area of my neck, I WILL get these done. I will use my body bursting into flames as heat energy. I think I can, I think I can!! I would have had them started by now but I ordered the lockets from Hong Kong and did not know it until after the email confirmation came in. It always takes 7-10 days for orders from Hong Kong. The Etsy seller did not specify where they were from. They arrived last evening, just in the nick of time. WHEW! I looked where she was selling from before I ordered and she left it out of the profile. Sneaky little devil.
We just carefully cut the photos with an exacto knife. By we, I mean me. Each locket has a photo side and a fingerprint side. Cutting those pictures is a P.I.T.A. (pain in the ass. This is one of my nursing diagnoses. HEHE.) I used a triple gloss overlay to lock them in. THe fingerprint side is Crayola air dry clay. I am sure there is a better option out there but with my current situation I took what I could find easily.
Here they are so far. Sorry the JPGs suck but I have barely an ounce of energy to deal with them right now. You get the idea though. They are really cute, I promise. I will be wire wrapping and beading them tonight. Toodles.
Picture me 25 years ago moping, savagely in my room, with my black lipstick on and a deep sinister thought. . .Sounds like a song title from my darkly romantic, goth days but it is a reality from my mom days. My children look like innocent, precious angels and for that I am grateful. It has most likely saved their lives a few times. They are 2 and 4 years old and they are evil masterminds already. The stuff they come up with to do absolutely floors me. I know there is no way in hell I was ever that bad. I have certainly worked off my karma. Now I must be being punished for other reasons.
The sinister, evil geniuses have a farm toy that looks like a lunch box and they asked me if they could pack it for a picnic. How absolutely precious and what a wonderful idea. They packed two Coke Zeros, pepperoni, celery, and one single rose. They rolled up a towel for a blanket. Off they went down the stairs to their romantic picnic destination at the bottom. It is a closed in area with tile so I thought that it would be safe and relatively destruction free. The worst they could do is spill their Cokes and it would be easy to clean up.
As you know I have recently had surgery and was feeling a little rough for wear and was laying on my bed listening to their picnic dialogue. Flynn was the dad and Sophie was the mom. They discussed a lot of crazy things and I laid up here and laughed my butt off. I texted their dad what they were doing and how cute it was.
He came home and asked them about their picnic and they I hear them tell him "we burned all our petals."
"WHAT?" "EXCUSE ME?" The little devils pulled the petals off of their rose and stuffed them in the space heater. The area needs it's own space heater because it gets colder than a witch's titty down there in winter. They then turned the heater on and toasted the petals to a crispy charred color. It smells absolutely awful and I need to take the vacuum down tomorrow to unload the heater.
I swear it, I AM INNOCENT!! I do not deserve this. No matter how innocent and harmless I think something is, those two prove me wrong. I am hoping I can channel their "energy" in a positive way and that they will turn out to be brilliant scientists or something. Sometimes it is hard to remain positive. LOL. All I wanted to do was relax and not hurt and instead I get to smell burnt roses and now clean them up. There was a time when I would have welcomed that. Not today! I may be able to single handedly supply the Shit My Kids Ruined website, which allows me moments to know I am not alone in the world of toddler destruction.
The sucker never had a chance
Where his happy home was hours ago.
No matter what, the children will always prove to me they can make a mess of even the most precious situation.
My children are celebrating Earth day by littering their room with an all you can eat cheese picnic and ripping limbs off of trees and pretending to plant them.
Yesterday my mom and step mom came over to help me clean the house before my big surgery. We scoured the kids room and made it absolutely spotless. They were playing in there so nice and were not making a mess so I went to watch some TV. As I am watching I realize there is an eerie silence, and with silence like that, trouble is ensuing. I go to check out the inevitable sabotage of my sanity. What I find is Sophie and Flynn having a "tea party," with Honest Kids juice pouches and a full cheese tray from Costco. Of course they shredded and destroyed all of the Swiss cheese and cheddar. What on Earth am I to eat with my whine now? I am left wondering why in the bloody hell I can't have a moment without my kids being little devils and how did they sneak a whole cheese tray by me? I know I have been distracted but a huge cheese tray, REALLY?
Sophie and her cousin are outside playing right now and they come prancing over to show me their "beautiful baby trees." I don't know how they managed to dismember a tree in 5 minutes but they have. I proceed to explain that once the limbs are torn off they can no longer get any water from the plant and they will die. They both look at me like they are taking it all in. They decided to remedy the situation by digging a hole in the rock bed and "planting" it again. I guess the root thing is a little deep for four year olds.
The replanted tree
This flower smells awesome. Does anyone know what it is? Honeysuckle?
Sophie's Awesome Hop Scotch
Other than the tree and cheese massacre it is an absolutely fabulous day out. Scratch that. . . Sophie was just trying to juggle rocks and threw one right in her cousins face by accident. Now Rowyn wants to go home. Sophie is mortally wounded to her soul, and is pretty sure she will die if she doesn't have a sleep over. WOW, real time blogging. Well I did pause to console the kid and she, at present, seems to be over it. I guess I will scratch the calling of the mom. I may have to get a start on my wine with no cheese now.
Happy Earth Day. Next year we will try to plant a tree instead of brutally mutilating one.
Following are some crafty things I have done lately. I made my stepmom a locket for her birthday. It has the kids photo inside on one side and their finger prints in clay on the other. It turned out awesome. I made it out of a silver-tone locket pink anodized copper wire wrapping, pink and green pressed Czech Glass. I love it. I also crocheted a mascot for D and Todd's business BloomWorlds.
