Picture me 25 years ago moping, savagely in my room, with my black lipstick on and a deep sinister thought. . .Sounds like a song title from my darkly romantic, goth days but it is a reality from my mom days. My children look like innocent, precious angels and for that I am grateful. It has most likely saved their lives a few times. They are 2 and 4 years old and they are evil masterminds already. The stuff they come up with to do absolutely floors me. I know there is no way in hell I was ever that bad. I have certainly worked off my karma. Now I must be being punished for other reasons.
The sinister, evil geniuses have a farm toy that looks like a lunch box and they asked me if they could pack it for a picnic. How absolutely precious and what a wonderful idea. They packed two Coke Zeros, pepperoni, celery, and one single rose. They rolled up a towel for a blanket. Off they went down the stairs to their romantic picnic destination at the bottom. It is a closed in area with tile so I thought that it would be safe and relatively destruction free. The worst they could do is spill their Cokes and it would be easy to clean up.
As you know I have recently had surgery and was feeling a little rough for wear and was laying on my bed listening to their picnic dialogue. Flynn was the dad and Sophie was the mom. They discussed a lot of crazy things and I laid up here and laughed my butt off. I texted their dad what they were doing and how cute it was.
He came home and asked them about their picnic and they I hear them tell him "we burned all our petals."
"WHAT?" "EXCUSE ME?" The little devils pulled the petals off of their rose and stuffed them in the space heater. The area needs it's own space heater because it gets colder than a witch's titty down there in winter. They then turned the heater on and toasted the petals to a crispy charred color. It smells absolutely awful and I need to take the vacuum down tomorrow to unload the heater.
I swear it, I AM INNOCENT!! I do not deserve this. No matter how innocent and harmless I think something is, those two prove me wrong. I am hoping I can channel their "energy" in a positive way and that they will turn out to be brilliant scientists or something. Sometimes it is hard to remain positive. LOL. All I wanted to do was relax and not hurt and instead I get to smell burnt roses and now clean them up. There was a time when I would have welcomed that. Not today! I may be able to single handedly supply the Shit My Kids Ruined website, which allows me moments to know I am not alone in the world of toddler destruction.
No matter what, the children will always prove to me they can make a mess of even the most precious situation.
Jilly
The sinister, evil geniuses have a farm toy that looks like a lunch box and they asked me if they could pack it for a picnic. How absolutely precious and what a wonderful idea. They packed two Coke Zeros, pepperoni, celery, and one single rose. They rolled up a towel for a blanket. Off they went down the stairs to their romantic picnic destination at the bottom. It is a closed in area with tile so I thought that it would be safe and relatively destruction free. The worst they could do is spill their Cokes and it would be easy to clean up.
As you know I have recently had surgery and was feeling a little rough for wear and was laying on my bed listening to their picnic dialogue. Flynn was the dad and Sophie was the mom. They discussed a lot of crazy things and I laid up here and laughed my butt off. I texted their dad what they were doing and how cute it was.
He came home and asked them about their picnic and they I hear them tell him "we burned all our petals."
"WHAT?" "EXCUSE ME?" The little devils pulled the petals off of their rose and stuffed them in the space heater. The area needs it's own space heater because it gets colder than a witch's titty down there in winter. They then turned the heater on and toasted the petals to a crispy charred color. It smells absolutely awful and I need to take the vacuum down tomorrow to unload the heater.
I swear it, I AM INNOCENT!! I do not deserve this. No matter how innocent and harmless I think something is, those two prove me wrong. I am hoping I can channel their "energy" in a positive way and that they will turn out to be brilliant scientists or something. Sometimes it is hard to remain positive. LOL. All I wanted to do was relax and not hurt and instead I get to smell burnt roses and now clean them up. There was a time when I would have welcomed that. Not today! I may be able to single handedly supply the Shit My Kids Ruined website, which allows me moments to know I am not alone in the world of toddler destruction.
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| The sucker never had a chance |
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| Where his happy home was hours ago. |
Jilly
hahahha...they are so awesomely creative!
ReplyDeleteJill, you have me absolutely in stitches! I am hoping you are having a nice, peaceful day! We need to get together sometime!
ReplyDelete